Title:	So...I am officially scarred for life. Ignore the emo.
Topics:	immense emo
Date:	2009-11-27 @ 14:10
Security:	public
Music:	Random "After Midnight" songs...dunno what they're called.
Mood:	distressed

My gosh I swear I could kill my dad sometimes.

Sooo, for a whole week now we've had random people in our house. That's the one thing my dad does that I hate. Just because you know them dad, and we've heard about them, doesn't make it okay to bring them to stay in our fricken house!! Especially when they end up having to stay for a long time. This is why you have to send me back to the therapy that you keep bitching about dammit.

These people aren't even pleasant. They're weird. The mother/lady/whoever is a hippie fashion designer who keeps going on about her future "organic clothing" line and how she lived in the middle of nowhere for a year and I. don't. care. She's been working in her factory for a few days trying to get the shipment out so it's okay but it's irritating as hell having her daughter(s) here. The first daughter is only just younger than me, but has a mouth and opinions equally as big as the Pacific ocean. Everything you say has an answer as if it's some sort of competition. (They also keep wearing the same gross clothes every day ew.) Luckily she was away for the entire first weekend, but this's lady's other daughter came for that time. She's only 10 years old and nearly as big as me. She ate all our fricken food, (some of it my au pair even bought for herself out of her own money), and left a mess everywhere. She even tried messing with my laptop and my PS2 without asking. NOT. COOL. None of them seem to have any respect for our house and don't clean up after themselves. It's disgusting!

But oh no, that isn't the worst thing. The fact we've had a crappy household for the past week of course is not responsible for me getting so upset about my exams I've been doing horrible in. The fact my dad doesn't care what it's doing to us hasn't got anything to do with it either. It was what happened last night that makes me burst into tears every time I try to explain what happened. (I supposed that's not much of an argument; I cry all the time.)

Basically, I was downstairs on my laptop until like...1 am-ish. I was writing a silly little bit of fanfiction and it was enjoyable. However I could no longer ignore the tiredness that comes out of being awake since 5:30 am after three weeks of exam stress. So, I went upstairs. I remember that I heard semi-quiet voices from my dad's room. I didn't feel like comments on being awake for so long so I quietly started closing/locking the doors. But closing the kitchen door makes a lot of noise and I obviously made a point that I was there. (Better that I did.) I wandered to my room, and on the way I could see my dad's lights were off, the TV was off, and he and this lady were obviously in his room because she was not downstairs. Well this was when I ran to my room and got my pyjamas at close to lightning speed. However when changing, brushing teeth and such I could hear a bit more from the bathroom. I honestly sang to myself whatever tune I could think of so I wouldn't have to hear anything. And although it wasn't loud, the noises I heard from time to time were obvious. The second I was done I ran back to my room, slamming my door to make a point, and sat in my room with my iPod headphones in and feeling more freaked out than ever before in my life.

When I was younger I once had a problem slightly similar with my dad and my mother. But that was different was because a) it was my mom and not a random woman we hardly know and b) nothing was happeneing yet. My father had a girlfriend for a while not so long ago, but she's been off the scene ever since I saw my dad had brought a different lady home who was in his bed. (She was pregnant wtf.) Basically, I've seen more things than I should have, and he doesn't seem to care how screwed up I feel when he does stuff like this.

What kind of parent does this kind of thing when their child is downstairs and can come upstairs at any time?! With a 10-year-old asleep in the next room who could also wake up at any time and be sent to therapy even more often than she is now?! I'm only 16 and have been into hospital, gone to a psychologist for nearly every year of high school so far, been put on medication (they tried recently but they made me sick). My 10-year-old sister is going to a psychologist regularly. She's only 10, how the hell can he think that's okay?! I'd been through it at that age, but I wasn't suffering like she is now.

And he doesn't make it any easier or even care.

My god what is wrong with my family. We just got a psycho mother off the scene and now he's pulling this crap. I cannot STAND IT.

*sigh* just...sorry I'm bugging you with this crap but I HAVE to get it out my system.

Title:	EASTER BREAK! BOOYAH!
Topics:	joburg trip, mcf 2008
Date:	2008-03-26 @ 19:25
Security:	public
Music:	Another One Bites The Dust - Queen
Mood:	sleepy

All right. Even though it's finally holidays, I doubt I'll care enough to say something regularly. So be happy with what you get, 'kay?! D<

Okay then. On Thursday I travelled a gruelling 6 hours to Joburg in a car. Very annoying way to get there. However, I got to stay with my awesome aunt, so it was much better. She's about the most open and laid-back relative I know. Complete opposite of my mom, even though they both grew up in the same environment and everything. It's pretty funny.

Friday I went to "My Coke Fest", possibly the best concert thing to EVER happen here. 12 hours of mind-blowing rock, including some of the COOLEST bands I know!

Starting at 12 pm, on this racetrack place. Plenty space, and a disturbing 46 000 people present. The Golden Circle was twice the size it needed to be, and we were all pissed off about that. Also if you bribed the guards you could get in. Really stupid. I got this awesome T-shirt, though it was as overpriced as everything else. I soon got used to the smell of beer and cigarettes everywhere. It was gross, but I couldn't let that get me down. It was gonna RAWK. 8D

First were 4 local bands: Lonehill Estate, Car Crash Burn, Wonderboom and Prime Circle. In all honesty though, I'd never heard of the first three, and none of their music. But they were cool. However when 30 Seconds To Mars came out, holy crap was I amazed. I'd heard their music before and everything, but you haven't ever seen someone get along with the crowd so well! Jared Letto must have had some serious caffiene or something because he was jumping around and yelling at us. You would've never been called a "mother f***er" so much before, I can guarantee you that. XD

He climbed UP the support beam for the stage! Have you SEEN how high those things are?! He even sang a li'l up there. I haven't heard so many girls scream all at once. XDDDD

After them was Kaiser Chiefs. They were great, but after 30 STM, people didn't care all that much. I still loved their energy and attempt to get the crowd going. And the one song we knew, everyone sang. It was fun.

Next was Good Charlotte. LOVED them! Those guys are already awesome, but man. So cool. I had no idea so many of the songs I love were done by them! XD They were the reason my au pair wanted to go so much.

Chris Cornell was after that. I don't know who he is, nor care. I was too busy being dragged around to find a place to get food and stuff. I needed the bathroom, but I was scared to go. Plus the line was way too long. >>; So after 30 minutes in a queue to acquire two over-priced containers of chips, I only had to wait 5 minutes to get to the bathroom lacking soap and water and stuff like that. Don't want to have to do that again. >~<

I was exhausted by now. It was after 10 pm and stuff. So I curled up by the fence we were sitting behind, and fell asleep. During Muse. XD They made a lot of noise, yet I slept so heavily. Whenever someone would make a fuss over how good they were, I felt bad. But I needed sleep. Next was none other than KORN. Like I could sleep during THAT! XD

My cousin is a huge Korn fan, and the second some noise occured on the stage he jumped up and clung to the fence. I decided it was time to actually stay awake, so I got up too. About half an hour later they actually came on. I only know one of their songs, and that would be "Devolution". The whole time I was going, "PLAY IT ALREADY!" due to still being so tired. But then one look at my cousin so happy and jumping excitedly would make me stop. He's so quiet and polite, and didn't jump once during the concert until then. I laughed.

Actually having the concert finished and put behind me was great, but I still missed it. And then we sat in traffic for an hour before it started moving anyway. I woke up when we got back at 3 am.

After all this were a few days spent getting a chance to go visit my relatives who all live up there. I missed them, they're all such cool people. I spoke about important life issues with my aunts on the one day, and the next I played baseball with a cushion and paper aeroplanes with my cousins. XDDDD

Monday we drove back. I had my nice spot in the back of the van and some manga. After a while I started doodling, and it was so bloody like the manga I was reading. I was slightly scared.

All my arts and stuff will be on my deviantART account: http://rjpwb46.deviantart.com

I'm sleepy. So I'll stop writing now.